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News! WORTH! Newsing!

March 4, 2015

Who hasn’t looked down at a picture of themselves, a snap shot in time where you felt happy and carefree, to uncover a photo so horrifying you silently scream as you attempt to delete it? Who knew faces could even make faces like that.

You question your looks and all the times you felt you looked okay in the dark reflection of a subway train window. You try to blame lighting or no lighting, it was your “bad side” only it was straight on.

But don’t fret, science came through for our narcissistic tendencies. Good ole science.

It’s official. Drinking wine does make you beautiful, even if your companion is sober.
According to the study, the photos taken after one drink were rated as more attractive than the sober photos.

Har har… good one, random article. Leave the jokes to me and my “one wine in” pretty face.

But, seriously. Science said it. THIS IS NEWS. One glass of wine makes you insanely prettier. I’ve always thought the wine fountain at Italian weddings smelled faintly Fountain of Youth-y, now science backs me.

Women everywhere! Down that glass and bask in the afterglow of youth and attractiveness.

This interesting new enlightenment makes sense. Women have to put up with a lot on a daily basis. To name a few:

-Deal with men

-Deal with kids

-Deal with other adults

-Hide or suppress farts because women don’t do that

-Wear inks and powders dangerously close to our eyeballs

-Wear shoes that are dangerously close to stilts and look good in them

-Bleed monthly unless you’re

-Growing human beings

…Listen, the list goes on. The point is, most of us probably look constipated most of the time and we think this is our normal face. So, when we’re asked to smile, it comes out like this:

That one glass of wine takes scary to relaxed in the 3 seconds it takes you to gulp it down (while hidden in your pantry pretending to look for snacks for your toddler).

But…with all things come balance. Reaching for that second glass, are we?

Think again.

‘It suggests that, if it’s true, people are rated as more attractive once they’ve consumed a small amount of alcohol,’ the study’s senior researcher, Marcus Munafò, told LiveScience.

‘But if they go on to consume more alcohol, they’re no longer rated as more attractive.’

Attempting to fill’er up once more and you go from HOT to NOT real quick. Classy to trashy. Pretty to gritty. And uh….Girly to….*sips wine*…..not girl….y.

Alright. So there you have it.

The bottom line is this- take all your “ladies night” pictures after the first glass and give your phones to the designated phone keeper to ensure your ugly 2-3-4 wines-in face won’t pop up tagged in Leslie’s “Girlzzzzz” album.

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