Oh Gosh! Another year, another gathering of very rich famous people handing out tiny people cast in gold. So glamorous.
I know most people find these shows mega boring, but I sincerely love them. Fashion, jokes and celebrities using celebrity award shows for honest and humble moments. S’cool.
But obviously, we’re here today for one reason. Day Drinking.
Oh, I mean: Fashion.
You Can Ring My Embellishment
Whether you like to embellish the shit out of something or just swipe a streak of diamonds on a flat canvas- embellishment went a long way last night. Most of them embellished their dresses but J Lo, loving her barely there lifestyle, allowed her skin to become an embellished dress that she’ll have to shed once the clock tolls midnight. From firecrackers to studded rocker garb, from elegant to Lady Gaga, embellishments stood out on the red carpet.
Red on Red on Red
Nothing says Red Carpet like wearing red. And boy, do they pull it off. The color, not their clothes. That’s inappropriate. The weird bead things on Mrs. Adam Levine were fine, but Dakota Johnson was like a knife in a perfectly accented sheath and we didn’t need a safe word taking it in…..*checks off 50 Shades joke*. Forget the ladies though, Selma actor David Oyelowo was bloody brilliant in a red tux. Lorelei Linklater is a strange bird and she shows it off well in an asymmetrical, red accented number. Not sure it’s my fave but there’s something about it. But now, we bow down to the Queen. She wore red in Gone Girl, blood color does her justice, but swapping blood for this textured lace revelation had me snapping, “You Go(ne) Girl”.
Up To My Neck In Dresses!
Necks. Necks came out in fill swing last night. *enter gif of giraffes hitting each other with their necks* Whether it was a high neck collar, a statement piece or a lower than low neckline- I appreciate the focus on the forgotten erogenous zone of fashion. Eyes up here fellows, to the delicate head shelf that can pull off turquoise or diamonds with grace.
A Textured Affair
Sometimes you see a dress that gives you the feels. And then you have the dresses you literally want to feels. And last night? I was like a 16 year old on ecstasy, I wanted to feels so many fabrics! From jewels to two tones to cutouts, the textures were for those with finer palates. Or, if you’re like Naomi Watts, finer brickwork. Whatever your phalange fancy dreams are made of.
Famous Boy Blue
Oh boy! The Blue Hues! I was anything but blue watching these fine mens showing out in a classic play on basic black. Whether you play a terminal teen or a cosmo genius. Whether you have long hair or one name- blue worked. You….BLUE…me away. (I know…I’ll just leave.)
I mean….It’s as obvious as the plot twist in Gone Girl. We all saw that…coming…right? Cough. But seriously, this dress is perfection. The color, the cut, the texture- Rosamund brought it. She didn’t win an Oscar but she won my Best Dressed, the highest honor in a barely fashion blog.
BUT…..I’d also like to give an honorary to a non celebrity:
I don’t know what it is about this dress but Mrs. Redmayne’s choice stayed with me all night. It’s simple and interesting, very complimentary and deserves acknowledgement. Bravo wifey of a deserved Oscar winner.