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Zen In The Art of Elevator Tetris

January 29, 2015

Let me preface this post by saying I’ve been up since 5am…and right before that, I was up at 330am. Go inside yourself for a moment and feel what that must feel like. May I proceed?


Come on, people! They’re elevators! You’ve literally encountered them your whole life (unless of course you didn’t and to that I say, Welcome to America!). How do not understand the deft maneuvering of elevator file-ins? 

There is nothing worse than knowing exactly where you should be so that you’re adequately out of the way, only to ram smack into the back of someone because they chose the worst spot ever. Rage…rage that has absolutely nothing to do with the 330/5am thing….rage that has nothing to do with the woman taking up an entire pole on the train like her shift at Wiggles just started…rage that has nothing to do with the natural phenomenon of turning into a human revolving door every day so that you long for the tessellated perfection of filing into an elevator with like minded adults.

To you, man with the large headphones who stood in the dumbest place ever on the elevator this morning, I hope you never get challenged to a game of Tetris- you failed life’s challenge and stacked the long blocks one on top of the other.

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