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One Flap Forward

September 3, 2014


Oh, you need a preface. Right.

Frankie, my beloved, loads up a toilet paper roll with the flap hanging out in the back. Now, imagine a world where someone installs your dispenser across from the toilet instead of next to it. Got it in your head? Good. You can go ahead and imagine what an extra 1.5 inches would mean for someone sitting on the toilet swiping to grasp the flap that’s hanging out in the back.

If you want an extra fun picture…imagine this while I was 8 months pregnant. I might have squished Corina down a few inches with how often I had to fight to grab the flap.

I try and explain this to Frankie but he doesn’t seem to understand the logic.

And then this happened.

The sole purpose Facebook exists.

This changes everything.

Actually, it probably doesn’t. And I don’t blame him, the last thing I want to think about is where the flap on my TP is. But I sit to relieve myself WAY more than he does, so the second I reach for the paper and realize I’ll have to play this game:

It kills my soul a little.

And it’s not just the reaching. I reach, swipe, reach, swipe, grab hold of the flap, get excited, pull, only get one square. Back to reaching, swiping, excited I grasped the flap and then put too much strength in it so I yank the dispenser off…unroll an entire roll….fling the holder across the bathroom….defeated.

This game I play a lot. It probably takes up AT LEAST 25 minutes a week. A WEEK. Do you know what I could with an extra 25 minutes a week?

Mayhap not reach for toilet paper and play this damn game?

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