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I Can Has Style: 2014 VMA’s

August 25, 2014

Needless to say, last night’s show held a lot of meat.

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Bottoms up to the opening of the show.

That act won’t be the butt of any jokes today.

The show stopping first act was definitely not a bummer.

Okay, I’m done.

Watching anything MTV, especially live, is pretty much the equivalent to a glittery root canal. But I knew it would not disappoint when it comes to style.

Video Music Awards Horror Story: 

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Step right up! Step right up! Get lost in a world of denim and studs, grills and cornrows. You will not leave disappointed once you’ve met: The What The Fuck Is That Thing Man? *enter carnival music theme*

 

Back to Black

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Short, long, leather and lace, skin or no skin- black gave the finger to basic and rocked the VMA’s last night. You can go wrong with black, but these ladies of the night made the right moves shimmying into these wardrobe pieces.

Miley, of course, branded herself with bandeaux and skin to show. One of them Kardashian folk took Miley’s idea but classed it up. Beyonce is Beyonce, Yonce, Bey, Queen B- she totes woke up like that. And Ariana had one less problem to count in that va va voom leather mini and boots.

 

The Colors, DUKE! The Colors! 

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And where there’s black, color will shine. I’m not sure I’m sold on all of these choices, coughcoughTaylorcoughcoughcrotchpants. But the colors were there and ain’t nothin wrong with a rainbow.

I loves Chloe’s top, chic and all that good stuff. The smeared painted smock on some girl I don’t know worked really well, the movement was beautiful. Iggy went biggy in a skin tight metallic silver that I’m sure is really her actual skin, Iggy came naked and we were all fooled. She’s just like…..with those curves and….drool. Taylor….Just like….put some pants on. But the color is nice.

Little People in Big People Clothes

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Apparently children got all fancied up in their parent’s clothes last night. Oh wait, this just in…those are adults and apparently the choice was on purpose. I don’t think I need to go into further detail about the tents people above are wearing. They look a damn fool.

No. Go Home. 

And our favorite part- the people who just went horribly, horribly wrong. Let’s a have a moment of silence as we remember the celebrities who tried to get creative and use their own brains instead of paying someone to do it for them.

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Blink….Blink

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*lip curl*

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I mean, sure- trash bags work.

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Nothing like wearing a glittery saddle bag, amiright?

And I know I normally have a best dressed but honestly….I was so captivated but the shit show that is MTV, I’m not sure I really gave anyone enough attention. I guess if I have to give someone the title, it’s Beyonce. She was best dressed in the bestest performance/publicity stunt to further convince me of her perfect business arrangement with Jay Z.

Brava, Yonce. Brava.

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