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Do You Take This Woman As Your Business Partner?

August 21, 2014

GUYS! BREAKING NEWS!

While there’s racial turmoil in America, something traumatic has happened: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are more than likely divorcing.

This on top of BeyonJay’s impending doom is almost too much to handle. Why do we even get up in the morning?

You know why I get up? Because I have a job. And while you might think getting up and performing as a couple across the world is BeyonJay’s job…or Mariah walking through her closet while Nick hosts 80 shows across cable is their job…you’ve got it all wrong.

Their job is their relationship. Boom.

Biznass.

I haven’t found it yet, but I will. I will found the business deal struck up between two celebrities to keep their reputation going strong. I’m also working to reveal an even deeper conspiracy: the procreation of celebrities for the continuing growth of celebrity population, an effort to keep outsiders from penetrating the secret society of celebrity.

Yeah. Mind blown, right? I see right through all this, RIGHT THROUGH IT.

I’m a danger to them, I know too much. Luckily, my blog isn’t that popular so my know-how is safe within the confines of the few hundreds who partake in my very sane realizations.

You’re welcome for bringing you in to my secrets. May you live feeling more superior than the masses and their ill delusions of happy celebrity couples.

 

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