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I Can Has Style: OSCARS 2013!!!!

February 25, 2013

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

I’m still reeling from attending the Academy Awards last night…from my living room. Imagine what those who actually attended feel like! I’d die.

Holy shit…did ya’ll see last night? It was by far the most magical Oscars of my 25 years, by far…did I say that already? I’m drunk on tule and acceptance speeches!!!

While I’m sure last night’s red carpet had some hefty themes to dig through, I have separated my jpgs into four categories. Shall we look up the skirts of celebrities? COMOWN!

BLANCO CELELBRITO!

zoe

amanda

amy

anne

jennifer

Like last year, this year’s ceremony brought out the glinting blank canvas of white and truly brought color to it. Zoe’s sleek number begins with a classic bodice and twists down into a modern contrast of black and grey in a layered train, a train that I’m totes on board..with…(pretend that horrible train pun didn’t happen). Amanda and Amy take on a grayish white, one stunning in fuzzy tule while the other shimmered in shiny silk applique. Anne played it straight and while it took me awhile to realize I kinda liked it, what she held behind her back was the real winner (see below). And finally, the last certainly not being the least, is my Academy Award winning Actress Jennifer Lawrence. Taking Princess to a relaxed, modern chic, JLaw hit it out of the park, stunning in my normally not so favorite gown color; without sounding creepy, it’s as if she’s dipped in icing and swirled in whipped cream! Ok…maybe that was a little creepy. GO JLAW!

CLASSIC MAGIC!!!

george

sandra

joseph

daniel

kerri

classic5

bradley

Couples, ladies, and men minglers alike dazzled in my staple category of classics. George and Stacey made the love spirit of Bogart/Hepburn weep with joy. Sandra sparkled in a modest, beaded gown screaming 30’s high society while dipping a toe in edgy with the nude underslip. Joseph and Eddie Redmayne sold it in classic suits, their young age unwavering in the face of debonaire. Kerri took a dip in pink, simple and fresh even if it took me a minute to dig it. And finally, Daniel Day Lewis and Bradley Cooper, along with dates of the wife and mom variety, took their elegant suit-ups and brought it home with the bold choice of blue for Daniel and the slicked back, three-piece handsome from Cooper.

BOLD AND GOLD!!!

halle

sally

naomi

These bold choices did nothing but stun on the red carpet last night. From Halle’s modern, sparkle-striped fitted dress to Sally’s raging red gown I was nothing but prepped for the final jaw dropper, Naomi’s cut-out couture. Bravah ladies for taking a chance!

BAD CHOICES: IN MEMORIUM

yeesh3

While Jennifer was dipped in white, this Jennifer was drowning in blood.

yeesh1

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an emo does with her chance at the Academy Awards! *round of applause*

yeesh4

I mean…it’s not a surprise, I should really just stop putting on her on this list.

yessh6

Hey! Ms. Ruffalo, your skirt is falling down…oh…*looks to girl next to me* apparently it was made that way. 

yeesh7

So we’ve perfected the time machine or….?

THIS YEAR’S FASHION TIE FOR BESTIE!!!!!!

Oscars-2013-jennifer-lawrence-and-anne-hathaway-JPG_012543

Watch your back, Chastain- Anne and Jennifer are backing up their diamonds, draping them across what was whole heartedly your Best of Dress win!

jessica

But nothing, not the gilded toe of Jesus worn by Meryl Streep, would stop you from getting my first place spot. From balanced copper to perfect ivory skin, Jessica Chastain is not winning for fashion- she’s winning for every inch of herself on that red carpet last night.

And a special congratulations for the host of the Academy Awards:

Seth MacFarlane

You funny sonovabitch, thanks for keeping me entertained while the dresses were out of shot.

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