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December 11, 2012

Can we ever trust science again?

I read an article this morning, a hand washing of bad information that should be seen as an admission of wrong doing- But all I see are lies. 

It may have something to do with all those Brontosaurus burgers everyone’s favorite modern stone-age family ate, but when you think of a giant dinosaur with a tiny head and long, swooping tail, the Brontosaurus is probably what you’re seeing in your mind.

Well hold on: Scientifically speaking, there’s no such thing as a Brontosaurus.

What.

Are you fossil kidding me?

At first this didn’t strike me as too big a deal, just a common case of 20th century paleontologists going at each others throats to achieve ultimate Bone Diggery. But in a moment of one bone buff’s desperation, the wrong head went on the wrong body and thus– the lie was born.

Our children, our own younger selves growing up in fascination of the great extincts are now left to wonder- is our whole childhood a lie? If the paleontologists jealousy can create a fictional dinosaur, what other BS have we been absorbing and reflecting in life’s mirror of Hollywood learning?

This might sound bold, but I believe I’ve already unraveled a few:

The first and foremost is the Dodo bird.

dodo_bird

If there is an animal more made up than this one…well, it would be the next on my list, BUT I DIGRESS. Come now, I get the penguin with its lacking flight skills, but you’re telling me- prior to the penguin- a land bird with no other skills but walking is given a set of wings and branch grabbing feet…when it won’t ever be able to reach a branch to grip? Sounds a lot like a head on the wrong body…or wings on the wrong fowl.

Next on the list is obviously an obvious one. Platypus.

Platypus-ImagesDo I need words? Moving on.

Those two are my biggest “squinty suspicious eye” topics, but please enjoy my list for the remaining lies fed to us by the government.

Pygmy Hippo 3

Pygmy hippo…..You mean a child hippo? LIES.

ew.

Hmph…likely story.

picture-of-house-cat-cat-sleeping-with-doll_422_4072

Kitten? Or super-humans disguised for government intel?

oprah

Apparently this is Oprah.

giraffe-hd

I just wanted to find a picture of a giraffe. But while we’re here, what the fuck are those fuzzy non-antlers?

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