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Goodbye, Mr. Bulge

November 28, 2012

Tis the end of an era, my weirdos.

As I sit on the train, trying to will my physical form back to my apartment, a set of nicely polished brown dress shoes step into my line of sight. I follow the shoe to the trouser (a nice shiny dark blue) to the belt to the light blue dress shirt up the sleeve of an 80’s style plaid blazer….to the face of Mr. Bulge.

But what is this? My eyes shoot back to his nether regions….and to my delightful horror all I can find is a perfectly fitted crotchel area. No bulge to be found.

Was I happy to see someone must have bought him a properly fitted slack? Yes. Am I sad to know he will never again grace my train with a pants full of pudding? For blogging purposes, yes. For non creepy purposes? No.

His office is safe from a water balloon of manly love. The train is spared a ticket to the Barnum&Bulges Circus. His roommate is in the clear of the pants roommate that doesn’t pay rent.

We’ve lost a good blog soldier, everyone. Here’s to the bulge!

To add an amazing kismet type property to this blog, the original Bulge blog was posted on November 29, 2011. Which obviously means my blog controls the world. So you should follow my blog and my Facebook to be a part of this magicalness….Clearly. 

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