Well, If It’s That Big A Deal…
I’ve never been one to fall into the trap of a placated democracy…I mean, politics… but with all the excitement and hooplah about our new old President, I decided to open my mind and write down the list of things this great man should accomplish in the next 4 years- Because obviously, if he is THIS celebrated, he must be magic. Amiright?
1. As someone just recently tuning in to the show Once Upon A Time, I’ve decided that I’d like dragons to come back. They not only remind humans that they’re tiny and nothing, but they filter out the heroes of the land. And Obama, I think it’s only fair to say that our President should be a hero as well, therefore it’s time for you to kill, neigh! Slay, a dragon.
2. Make Kudos a thing again.
3. Saving the world one democrat at a time can be exhausting and taxing (more taxing on the wealthy, though) so I think Obama should fill the White House lawn with puppies…that are secret killing machines run by the CIA to detect terrorism and act accordingly. Think of all the peace of mind you’d have left to actually accomplish things!
4. No more speeches, only singing. We all know the cadence of a perfectly coiffed speech crafted from a future Senate seat warmer, I want to hear something else. I believe in so much when it’s sung, if you presented me with a debate the style of Putnam County Spelling Bee we’d be in business.
5. Politics can be so daunting for the simple minded masses, throw Sarah Palin on tv for a while and let us all laugh. We can’t be serious all the time, we’re not the President. So put the court jester on the magic picture box and let us relax.
6. If you expect to be elected for a 3rd term (we all know you’ve been planning a “Bloomberg” with your presidential role) you have to stop using vague one word campaign tactics. Change and Forward worked for now, barely, but nouns and directions won’t be inspirational the next go’round. You need to make changes going forward, man, that’s obvious.
Well, I guess that’s it for now. I don’t want to get ridiculous or needy, obviously he has lists from around the America with wishes galore- and with only a little more than a month left to make these dreams come true for the boys and girls that were good…. this….year….Wait, Obama is Santa right?