Signs of a Sandy Zombie.
Ladies and Gents, I’ve been home since Friday. I’ve spared you from my Sandy Fever for the most part, but today I’ve accumulated a list of signs that Sandy has infected you. If you have suffered from any of these symptoms, you might as well hand the ax or shotgun to your friend and whisper a goodbye.
1. You watch the commercials.
2. Cookies are breakfast…haven’t they always been?
3. You actually go the gym everyday, but somehow still feel like a hamster in its wheel. A sexy, fit zombie hamster.
4. 40 degree weather feels “nice”
5. You only touch a bra when you need to walk your dog. And even then you hesitate.
6. The grocery store seems exciting. (if you begin to feel this way about laundry, seriously…take the shotgun and end it yourself)
7. You find yourself singing one liners about your actions like Randy Newman.
8. You do dance moves for your dog who isn’t paying attention.
9. Talking to yourself, though your other half is sitting nearby, feels normal.
10. Scrubbing the sink suddenly becomes a “project” as you ignore the depressing fact it will be the most exciting thing you’ve done all day.
11. You have day dreams about your desk at work….and then you hang your head in shame.
12. You’ve NY1 on at least 3 times before noon. (Before Sandy, you never even ventured near it)
Well…how many of you are now staring at that ax like it’ll be your new best friend?
For all that is holy, I pray for NYC to rumble back to life and dry off. Please. No…seriously…please.