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How To Prepare For A Rock Show.

September 19, 2012

I’M GOIN’ TO A ROCK’N ROll SHOW!

But, Erika- how does one properly prepare for such an exciting event?

Well, thanks for asking- the first step is to obviously listen to rock’n roll. If you believe such music no longer exists, read this and then get the fuck out of here.

STEP ONE!

Most concerts are held on weekdays now, after a recent movement concerning fans and their actual commitment…that’s a lie, I still attend concerts where most people only know “Use Somebody” (or something like that) and make fun of others who actually enjoy themselves and didn’t get “free tix” from the boss. But I digress…Since we have weekday showdowns one must think ahead. So ask your boss to leave early with a strange toe condition and getcho ass home to shower and dress.

STEP TWO!

Dress yo’self. I prefer a nice jean and Rock Unicorn shirt, it says- hey, I’m cool but check out my unicorn of rock magic.

STEP THREE!

I can’t say step three….it’s kinda like Fight Club rules. Sorry. If you’re smiling and nodding your head, then we’re on the same page and you know how i do.

My “waiting” face circa 2010

STEP FOUR!

Prepare the playlist of songs you’ll hear shortly. Some are opposed to this and I get it, we can’t all be slightly autistic with a horrible knack for repeating things over and over. You should (not) see how often I’ve played certain songs on Spotify.  Once the playlist is created, slide your headphones on- step outside- walk to the subway- and get to the BOWERY! Or the venue of your bands choice.

Yes, that’s a zune and Erika circa 2009

STEP FIVE!

Oh man, this is where shit gets real. I get the first date jitters when attending a Rock Show. I’m talking butterflies, weird smiles, talking 100mph. So this is why Maki will get me buzzed beforehand, calm the nerves before I go on stage…I mean, they go on stage. Cough.

STEP SIX!

Have your friend, or in this case Maki, carry you to the venue because she turned her head for a minute and you tossed back 3 tequila shots. Once at the venue….

STEP ROCK!

FUCKING ROCK OUT! Dance! Sing! Jump! Wiggle! Flash them! Don’t flash them if that’s not your thing! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BECAUSE THAT’S ROCK’N ROLL AND I LIKE IT! LIKE IT!

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