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I Can Has Style.

September 10, 2012

Yeah, yeah- I know I’m late on the VMA train but unfortunately WORK happened on Friday and I couldn’t breathe to blog for 5 minutes.

But to win back your ADD hearts I’ve scrounged up my best list of fashions we’ll never, ever be able to afford! Yay!

Let’s dive into the seam, shall we?

NIP TIPS!

While bulges are always fun, the women took up the slack on the lack of tight pants wearing men- Nipples Unite! Not many of the pics do justice to how many nipples I saw in action Thursday night but you can get the general idea of braless women wearing thin, tight fabric stretched over their VMA pillows. Miley, just because you shave your head doesn’t mean you need to shave off fabric- modesty honey, let’s try a day of it.

OOOoooOOOO SHINY THINGS!

It’s not surprising that shiny things would attract the league of extremely intelligent scientists that came to the National Science- oh what? This is the VMA’s? Oh! Right. Sorry, I gave people too much credit for a second. SHINY THINGS! Like totes awesome, that twinkle really cinches your waist line.

FEEEEEL the LEATHAAAAH!

Ladies and Oldies alike joined forces to promote the use of hide, draped squeakily across the bodice so that every move you make sounds like a skit from SNL. But don’t worry, you won’t be disturbing anybody thanks to the blood curdling screams towards One Direction. And it’ll be totally worth it when you have to peel it from your sweaty body at 4am. The leather, not One Direction.

And for the last category… what makes not only watching, but listening, to horrible music worth it?

BOYS!!!!!!

Do we really need to say anything? I don’t want to be accused of lusting over small children so let’s just stare and be grateful boys exist.

My vote for BEST DRESSED this year? Easily:

I’m really not normally a fan of white, but Taylor Swift shifts the blah color towards what glamour used to mean: Chic, Simplicity and a touch of Modesty.

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