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I Was Just Wondering…

August 30, 2012

Where the fuck did Left and Right come from?

I wasn’t (was) watching an episode of Married to Jonas when a church marquee was shown with the line “Give God what’s right, not what’s left.” Or something like that. And it took about two seconds to see the quirkiness in it- but it got me thinking:

A) Wow, the english language is really fucking lazy and annoying.

B) What came first? The direction of Right and Left, or the “this is right” and “this is all that’s left”.

Regardless of this chicken and egg scenario, WHO THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA TO USE THE SAME WORDS FOR COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MEANINGS?

I tried for a very long 5 minutes to see the thought train that led us to use Right and Left as direction:

“I believe this is the right way, but if it’s not we’ll go with the paths that are left.” Seems logical…but what if the right path was in what would later be coined as the direction of Left?

ARGH THE INSANITY!!!!!

So I decided to put my research glasses on (which are the same glasses I wear for seeing) and research this schtuff up.

What did you find, YMWIK?

Glad you asked loyal weirdos. NOTHING. Except for people using bible quotes to explain how the right and left wing originated. So really instead of finding an answer, I was just given another Right and Left use that is not direction or whatever we would call the other uses of right and left.

In looking up the definition it tells me “left is the opposite of right” …..so could left also be wrong? And if left is wrong, what does that mean for liberals?

My eyes are crossing.

So instead of finding sense in the senselessness, I’m jumping on the lazy vocabulary train and coming up with my own uses for known words.

Toilet: A place to relieve oneself; a vacuum.

Bees: Bug that stings and/or makes honey; A bear.

Lotion: a scented moisturizer used for body; the weird itch in the blind spot on your back.

There. Take that english language.

I was just wondering, if we’re this lazy in language- where else are we lacking?

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