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I Was Just Wondering…

July 27, 2012

Do I need to drop the shoulder?

Walking is transportation in New York, your feet are cars, a bus, a train- and guess what? We human transporters also get these elevated “mini streets” to walk/drive down, they’re called sidewalks.

Now here is where I think we forget this very simple metaphor:

3, 4, 5 best friend cars don’t drive next to each in one lane on a two way street- you know what that causes? Death. Or a really beat up metal exterior.

So when you’re walking with your besties down a shared sidewalk with pedestrians walking to and fro, and you don’t want a shoulder banging into your “I’m so cool, i wear my shirts hanging off my shoulder and cut off shorts like this outfit wasn’t happening a decade ago” shoulder, then file TEMPORARILY into a single line. Can you not talk to the back of your bfb’s head? Is that too antisocial for you overly social-networkers?

We really did learn everything about life in school.

I don’t want to be an asshole. We’ve gone over this many, many times on this blog…but the simple fact that we’ve had to go over how I don’t want to be that asshole makes me think I HAVE TO BE THAT ASSHOLE.

What fear do I have? With my luck, I’ll bang into the one innocent person and end up looking like a real life asshole, not on who is playing one in her head movie.

Ugh… it would be so much easier if we could all just have manners for an accumulated 5 minutes per day- imagine all the nasty things strangers wouldn’t think of you!

I was just wondering…. Do I have to be an asshole?

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