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I Was Just Wondering…

July 9, 2012

You know, I always say the best time to chop vegetables is when your eyes are closed. Closed reeeeeal tight.

Right, that makes as much sense as WALKING WHILE STILL READING A BOOK.

I’m contradicting my need to look intelligent by doing something stupid!

When, in anyones mind, did that seem doable? Is it when you realized you don’t care about anyone walking around you? That you almighty, intelligent being would expect all others who use their eyes to walk to adapt their routes to avoid the death trap that is your idiocracy? Or is it a cleverly disguised suicide attempt? If it that’s, please continue.

You do realize that whatever you learned in that book you just can’t put down will be worthless when you’re comatose body awakens to no knowledge of that book even existing along with your ability to walk.

Oh good, take out two of the five senses. I hope you know what a taxi about to hit you smells like.

We’re in New York. I wouldn’t advise someone in Podunk, USA on a dirt road to walk around while reading- add in cabs, block by block stop lights, rush hour sidewalk action, and maniacs.

I was thinking of writing about the idiots who MUST check their phone the SECOND they are out of the train- it’s no bother to them that there are multiple people trailing behind them on the stairs, they can wait. You’re social life is far more important. But they’re only half as frustrating as the ones who are trying to take in chapters in a four minute walk to the office.

I’ve gone 3 stops too far on the train reading. I’ve missed my train reading while standing motionless on a platform. I went over my lunch hour reading a book in a closet at work I found to hide from people.

I have not once thought I didn’t need my eyes for a stroll down NYC streets. I’m not dense enough to think my forehead sees just fine. I’m not sure if you’re aware of the human body, but um… only eyes can see. And they’re on that book.

I was just wondering, when did the doctors alerts us that eyes are entirely unnecessary when we’re motoring on foot?

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