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I Can Has Style.

June 13, 2012

I can has NOT child pornography.

Ok, maybe that was a stretch, but damn! I’m tired of seeing girls who are no doubt in highschool (or, god forbid, younger) wearing cut off shorts, mid drift tops, and sporting copious amounts of cleavage.

Do your mothers see you?

Because let me tell you something- it didn’t matter that my bible belt of a town had strict school rules on dress code, if I tried leaving the house in what I see these girls successfully leaving the house in….I wouldn’t be here to tell this story. Or bitch about lack of parenting.

Remember the days looking back at your childhood and cringing douche chills because of the multi-colored block jumper you wore the shit out of? Remember how kids now will look back on their hologram photo albums and smile narcissistically because they did, and continue to, dress better than their own parents?

Whaaaaat happened? Not only are you more special than anyone ever in the entire world, not only will you amount to so much more than everybody because of how precious and special you are- but you’ll dress better than your parents at 3 and dress sluttier than Lohan/Cyrus combined before you’re half their current age! THE HORROR!

I don’t know if this is a call to arms for parents or slutty children. I can’t decide. I feel these children should have some self awareness on levels of modesty, by no means should one be a prude- I was 16 once. But if your children are lacking in that department and you as a parent find it appalling that men, grooown men, are leering at your daughter..well…um…COVER HER THE FUCK UP, ADULT WHO IS OLDER AND KNOWS MORE THAN YOUR MEDIA, POP CULTURE REFERENCING DAUGHTER!

ahem. Good day.

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