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I Can Has Style.

May 30, 2012

RRRRRrrrrrrRRRIIIIIIIPPPP!

That’s the sound of me waxing my legs.

YIKES! YOWZA! ARE YOU NUMB TO PAIN?

Nope, I’m just a fighter. A warrior of the wax. I’m also a brunette with hair that grows at an alarming rate- when you’re going to a beach for 8 days that’s clearly not kosher.

Bam. Veet wax strips.

Style is not always POC’s, plaid, nail colors, stripper shoes, etc- Style is pain. Style is sometimes what was done underneath to make us lady folk flashy in our posterior. (And no, I’m not talking about those 20 something’s sticking themselves with Botox before they can even rent a car.)

I was going on vacation as hairless as one box of strips would get me.

I hunkered down in the bathroom of 750 square foot mansion and eyed the strips of golden wax. Gulp.

Here’s the thing about waxing yourself. The men and women paid to do it can play Jedi mind tricks on you to limit the teeth grinding pain. When you’re in charge of ripping the massive, glued on band aid you have to trick yourself. That’s not easy.

I won’t complain too much about my lower legs, I was a champ. But last night I did my inner thighs and Frankie so lovingly acknowledged that my walking was like I just got butt- AHEM. Rode a horse. Like I just rode a horse.

Those thighs were painful. This is where I had to use Jedi mind tricks to use Jedi mind tricks on me. Tricking your own brain is no easy task. It can trick the fuck out of you everyday, but for you to turn the tables? Oooph, it’s stuff. I meant to type “it’s tough” and that came from my finger tips so I feel obligated to keep it.

So the outcome? I have to sit like a man today as it’s blazing humidity in the city and sweat doesn’t bode well with newly raped hair. BUT! with a quick swipe of the razor tomorrow I’ll be smooth for AT LEAST two more days than normal for my bevy of unwanted hair.

Upside to this method of skin fashion: Easy to use, minimal pain for ripping hair from skin, easy clean up and okay on sensitive skin.

Downside to this method of skin fashion: It definitely leaves patches of hair  so running a razor over your limbs to finish the job is a must.

If my legs can has style, I can has style.

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