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Mass Impasse

May 14, 2012

I’m pretty sure you could ask anybody in my life and they’d agree on one thing: I don’t break the rules.

I’m in no way a goodie two shoes, I just don’t want to bring attention to myself. Rules are set on purpose and while some are fucking stupid- what would be awesome about getting in trouble for breaking a stupid rule? It would be doubly stupid.

So I’ve lived by this mind set most of my life. Frankie and I argue over it a lot- not like real arguing, funny arguing.

But this morning I realized: I break more rules than I thought. And it made me think, what is that fine line between a rule and a mere suggestion?

Each morning I wait for the M at Steinway. I know the spot to stand that will allow me quick access to the end door at the butt of each car where cool air blows on my dripping, “I don’t do humid” skin. I rest against the door, sit my computer bag between my feet and slip away into Mental Land until W4 comes into view. But note, that door that supports my 8:15am ass clearly says “Do Not Lean On Doors”.


Who is enforcing this? Nobody. Is every door that clearly states it doesn’t condone leaning being leaned on as we speak? Yes.

Rule? Or Mere Suggestion?

But here is where my problem light bulb sparked to life.

On that same door it also states, “Riding Between Cars Is Prohibited”

I’m leaning on a door when the knob jabs my assmeat. I give the universal sign for, Excuse Me/What the Fuck?

But really, what am I to do? I can’t say that he can’t do that. Becuase I’m leaning on the door I’m not supposed to be and he needs to get through that door while riding between cars which is clearly prohibited.

Mass Transit Impasse.

I must inconvenience myself by moving a foot out of his way with my daily baggage (both¬†figurative and literal) while thinking about how annoying it is that he can’t follow rules. And he’s riding between cars in peril waiting for my humid ass to shuffle out of the way balancing my bags like a damn circus act while keeping upright on a moving train and all he can think is why can’t this bitch follow the rules.

Rule? Or Mere Suggestion?

This is why clear Rules and enforcement of said rules are important. If it’s not enforced it’s left up to the goons of society (myself included) to decide what’s really important in life: Following a sticker that was pasted on in 1997? Or resting the back and ass of someone who bleeds her monthly earnings onto the gum infested sidewalks of New York?

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