I Was Just Wondering….
Nice guys really do finish last? Really?
This week (it’s only Tuesday) I’ve been hounded, both in my personal life and those around me, with examples of how being nice never works. Ever. And I’m baffled.
I would love to write a post understanding this issue to present a way I think we could change this, Nice People Unite. But unfortunately I have no idea why this is, it makes no sense to me.
There is one example in particular that I can’t go into which is a shame, with how i’m feeling some humor on my end would help a lot. But there is nothing humorous in taking advantage of people and thinking they’re stupid enough not to notice…or weak enough to not act on it. We’ll see.
For an easier set up let’s use this one:
I bought a Groupon to live out my dream to be Katniss. My first clue in general as to why this plan would go south was the establishment was set in Staten Island, but I try not to fall into stereotypes unless I’m joking about them (see: Hipster Racism). The next clue, and what prompted me to contact Groupon for a prompt refund, was the fact that numerous numbers were given to call- all of which were personal cell phones. And then nobody would answer them though the place claimed to be open 7 days. When a friend finally did get a call back, that man gave Zach another secret number to call the guy who apparently set up these lessons….needless to say that guy did not help us set up a lesson. You’re fucking shady. I want my money back.
So I proceed to write the nicest email fathomable explaining our experience, because why be mean? It’s not Groupons fault.
But oh Groupon, don’t you have such a nice set up? I’ve now gone 10 emails back and forth with what I’m pretty sure is a robot. I’ve exchanged 6 emails on my end that were so painstakingly written to be polite but serious. I’m increasingly not liking Groupon and at the point of breaking and stupid rules on refunds I get an email telling me I can be credited to my Groupon account. Fine, I’ll take it.
So then I got credited…Or wait, no I didn’t. I got the original email in response to my “Credit me” which started the situation all over again. I then got, in response to that response, the same email telling me their rules for refunds. I know they’re trying to drive me looney so I back off, but guess what? I created Looney, you fuckwads. Bring it.
I still struggled with being mean because obviously whoever is replying to me was not the original person and that routine goes until I’ve got a chain 10 emails long…so why would I be an asshole to someone who has no clue of my emailing history? I know why…because you want you’re damn money back in money, not Groupon credit. And apparently it takes an irrational purchaser to wake these people up.
Next on the list is my mom. She’s currently moving into a new home with her husband and picked a moving company to help. These guys would be great upstanding citizens because they had an American Flag in their ad…posing with a general. So…you know they mean business. What kind of business? Coincidentally the kind America is famous for and it’s not great service. In fact, they broke invaluable items and refuse to take responsibility, like real Americans. Hahaha! I’m sorry, it’s not funny…. but if you can’t laugh at the douchebag nature this nation has taken under its Bald Eagle wings you’d go fucking nuts. This story, in terms of being polite, goes a different route though:
My mother writes a complaint, after being told that she’d have to pay the full price regardless of damages. My mother then lets Clay review it because he wouldn’t let anything fly through the web if it was any amount of rude. He okays the email and off it goes. The response is something to the effect of: You can’t intimidate us with your rudeness.
Let’s all sit on that for a second.
Sir, you can’t intimidate me with your false claims of rudeness and being intimidated. You’re a grown ass man posing with a general and you’re going to play the battered woman? How…American of you. Now leave my mother alone and allow her to use the money that would fund your beer and Garland strippers to get a new table that will never be the one you assholes broke.
You can be nice and get the run around. Or you can be nice and get attacked as if you were demanding their first born son to accommodate the damages.
How would being mean right out the gate have helped? I’m about as capable as answering that question as I am about being nice right off to then be treated like an idiot.
I was just wondering… who wins if nice guys finish last?