100 Never Looked So Hot. Or Weird.
100…that’s like, old in age years. But in blog years it actually means the opposite, I’m sure a lot of you scoff at my hundred mark: “Try THOUSANDS, mehmehmehmeh!”
All of you can go eff yourselves.
No, don’t do that. I need you. You’re the only reason I made 100 posts.
I feel like I thank my readers a lot, hell knows ya’ll deserve it. But now it’s time for you to thank me.
I was gonna see how long it took for all of my followers to hit ‘unfollow’. Good to see your mouse is still scrolling down to get more geniusly neat writing. And that your humor is still leeching all logic from your mind wrinkles.
For my 100th post all I ask in motivation to keep pumping out my irrational rants is this: Visit Plaid the Fad and let me know your thoughts on Ben Sherman. One word, a novel, a “go fuck yourself”, anything helps my research! My career hangs in the ropes of your little weirdo typing fingers!
Ok, maybe my career doesn’t, but this is the starting block to my path of copywriting and if I could have anyone be a part of it: It’s my weirdos. That’s you.
I know a lot of bloggers have hundreds of followers, thousands of posts, millions of words. But I have ya’ll. And you’re neat, and weird, and quirky and everything I want in the eyes of people digesting my inner thoughts.
Feel free to join me in rants, keep liking my shit, and following my demise into madness. And I’ll keep trying to make a few minutes in your hectic lives irrationally enjoyable.
Here’s to another 100! Now enjoy some quotes from past breakdowns and don’t forget to feed my brain with your Ben Sherman thoughts!
If someone told you there was a cupcake inside their home, with a strawberry on top, with fire in that strawberry…. I would think two things at the same time: You’re in a white van I can’t get in with you. What are you magic? -CUPS OF CAKE,MOTHERCUPPAS
And here is why, Watson. Every movie from the Stone to the Half Blood Prince was excruciating to get through, not only because mega plot details were Disapparated from the screenplay but because Daniel had his talents Disapparate as well. Excruciating. Crucio on my brain. -The Boy Who Lived…In His Flask
Riveting. Would it have been a bigger deal if I’d been born with 3 penises and spit fire? Would it have been a bigger deal if I created women in a lab to fulfill my every teenage “I was so drunk!” desire? -News! WORTH! Newsing!
There aren’t many parts of me that are girl. Let’s try that again. I don’t portray myself as much of a Fashionista. Or Maxinista for that matter. No matter how affordable their name brand prices are. -I Can Has Style
This blog is in no way intended to stiffen your ego, sir. A micro penis would look porn ready in slacks that tight. You are not in Poison. You don’t pull yourself slo-mo from the ocean exposing a commercial package for D&G cologne. You are not in a hipster band (and even then, honestly boys). –I Was Just Wondering…