I Was Just Wondering…
Why are you smiling so much?
Ok, that sounded wrong. Let’s try it again.
Why is your smile so effing creepy?
That didn’t come off right either…hmmm…
I guess what I’m trying to say is not that I don’t think smiles are awesome and contagious and all that rainbow puppy stuff- but you smile too much. You get what I mean?
I’m walking down the street, dragging my brown suede flatted feet (circa moms closet 1995) to Prodigy when I get this funny feeling deep in my soul. Like a clown is lurking near by. And then I see her, lugging luggage down Carmine beaming with a smile so genuine I needed to punch something.
Why are you smiling, honey? Don’t you know you’re in New York- where smiles are turned upside down or you’re not allowed citizenship? And…you’re in public. Like…people can see you. We see you.
I gave a peek behind my shoulder to see if maybe her lover was walking towards her in one of those RomCom scenes, but no such person existed. This chick was just….smiling.
Now, when they say smiles are contagious it’s true. I had to fight the grin creeping up my face, but let me be clear: I was not smiling with her. I was smiling at her.
I don’t mind a neighborly grin, a smirk at small children that you wish you had and you’re turning 25 and starting to think of these things and why doesn’t he get it and- Oh…*Cough*…Is my phone ringing?
What I can’t accept is some shit eating grin on a strangers face before noon walking down the street with luggage…Oh! OH! I got it! I understand now… Ok, this is the only time I’ll accept this: the luggage, the smile…She was LEAVING! SHE’S FREE FROM THE CEMENT VERSION OF THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Aw, good for her.
But if that’s not the case then,
I was just wondering, why is your smile so creepy and unnecessary?