I was watching American Idol last night, I mean I wasn’t watching American Idol last night…. Is my phone ringing? Excuse me.
Ok fine, I was watching it. Assholes. But if I hadn’t then I never would’ve written this!————-> So I was watching AI last night, first week of Hollywood, wasssssuuuuuup! I love a place where more dreams are shattered than those coming true. Broken Dreamy Sigh.
It was getting to the last few minutes, some girl I don’t remember in audition week was singing something that I guess was okay but I wasn’t really paying attention. I honestly can’t even remember what they were saying to her, but I had the impression that they were softening her up for a broken dream. Fingers crossed! Until….
I… I really don’t know… I mean it happened so fast… I looked up and…well, you’ll see:
Now obviously upon closer inspection, that dress wasn’t the best choice. Oh, this isn’t ‘I Can Has Style?’…oops. I meant, upon closer inspection something is definitely happening to this girl while they’re talking. It hadn’t registered last night, but this little lady has the vapors or something cuuuuuuuz sheeeeee’s wobbly. I think…? I really don’t know. She didn’t even look that close to the lip of the stage. Ugh… that closer look makes the topic of this post really uncomfortable. Well… here goes.
WHY ARE FALLS SO FUNNY??? I laughed my ass off, alone in my apt, with a chocolate brownie cookie in my hand (yes it was the size of my face, so what?) asking all the people that were non existent if they saw that. The air had no response but I laughed in its silence.
I know falls can be dangerous, I know sometimes people fall because of other medical problems like fainting and shit… but… IT’S SO FUNNY! And as I watched the judges face take an immediate “Oh no, look serious face” I couldn’t help but wonder, even though it’s scary… did they want to laugh? Did Tyler let out a fuck to stifle the guffaw building in his massive mouth? We’ll never know… but one things gives me faith that I know the answer: EVERYBODY WANTS TO LAUGH AT SOMEONE FALLING!
Frankie and I were leaving the subway the other day and a girl in front of us slipped and fell walking up the steps. The shriek she let out did nothing for my impulse control at the fall itself, but I bit my tongue and kept a straight face. It was very hard. And I’m not dense, I’m aware that this all means when I fall someone will laugh. Well no shit! Even if I break my leg the initial tumble is hilarious!….. before you realize it caused a massive fracture!
I can recant a few stories now on my falling adventures growing up:
1) I was Dorothy for Halloween, I was about 11 or so, and I was coaxed into a Haunted House. I hate Haunted things. I got through it with pride, saw the exit and went for it. I was safe. Until Jason came from the bushes raging a chainsaw and I book it in my red glittery heels. The next thing my mom sees are heels up in the air and a checkered blue dress mass tumbling in their wake.
2) I was the lead in my 7th grade holiday play “Christmas Every Day”. I was to walk across stage and answer the door while my husband read the paper in his chair. I was saying my lines with ease, clipping my heels across the stage and made to grab the handle of the door when I tripped over marking tape and went swinging with force through the fake door surprising my cast mate on the other side. My husband hid behind his paper and laughed. I hid behind the door and died. This was being taped.
I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I feel it’s going to lead to a montage of falling videos.
With my great public presence I feel I should end this with a moral lesson: Laugh at falling people only when you’re their friend or they can’t see you. And then make sure to call a medic. Should the need arise.
If you have any funny falls to share, lay ’em on me!