I Was Just Wondering…
Why the effing eff do we need a Groundhog to tell us that Spring is coming?
Let’s do a poll: Skin? Check. Nerves that translate sensations? Check. Smart Phone Weather App? Check.
Listen Punxsutawney Phil, I know what keeping someone employed even though their job is obsolete looks like. I’ve seen Office Space.
And, listen, people who still depend on a beaver like animal to tell them the weather… Um… do you own a tv? Are you a hipster? Even if you answered yes (you pretentious little fucks) I know ya’ll to be fans of Instagram- and a smart phone is a mini TV, let’s all be honest here.
Let the poor furry mass retire and live in a world of…you know… um…whatever Groundhogs enjoy!
And if we’re all being open here… He prob just makes a spectacle out of the occasion, secretly laughing in his little hole about how idiotic humans are for putting faith in a season predicting animal.
I was just wondering… when did we stop using our brains and relied on a beaver thing?