WWJ(KR)D: What Would JK Rowling Do?
I openly admitted last week that I’m a writer.
I mean, ok, it’s not like I needed to stand up and declare “My name is Erika and I’m a writer.” I have a blog based on mini stories, obviously I can lay a word or two.
But what I hadn’t shared up until last week is that I write, like, books man. I’ve spent the last 3 years working on a few books, sometimes the concept comes quicker than my ability to bang the book out with editing (and my ADD with excitable new concepts when I should be focusing on the work in progress) but I have at least one that is 100% finished and ready to pitch…………………..Cough.
This causes a problem though: now that I’ve made it public to the few weird ass souls that think my blog is cool, I feel obligated to…you know…dooooo something with it. *SHRIEK* And not only that… but if I hyped that I have sooooooo many books under my belt, should I have to…gulp….wrap those up and push them from the proverbial nest too?
OH GOD THE HORROR OF HAVING A TALENT YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IN SHARING! Or rather, UNCOMFORTABLE IN SHARING BUT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE WHO WRITES ALL THESE DAMN BOOKS TO NEVER GET ACKNOWLEDGED!
Now that being so gracefully said…. What the fuck do I do?
Who do I hope to be once I take on the role as Author In Progress?
This guy? Um… in success sure. In weirdo-ness, no thanks.
Uh, no shit. I mean seriously, who put her up there? *wipes lip sweat*
Get the fuck out of my face.
With those existential questions now floating in the universe, it’s time to talk query letters. Query letters are those little boogers you preface a sample of your manuscript with. You essentially, and shortly, tell the recipient why you and your book are the beez-fuckin-knees (without saying, beez-fuckin-knees).
If you are not familiar with this blog (and you happen to be a writer) it’s time your eyes reveal the potential of you looking extremely crazy and/or stupid.
This is what we don’t want:
Dear Esteemed Official, forthwith I am attaching my query for your keen consideration.
My book is a masterpiece, magnificent and excellent novel. You could earn at least $10,000 to one million dollar from my best novel. The readers would turn the pages in pleasure to find the consequences of the story.
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?It took me years to write, will you take a look? (His response is golden)