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The Day I Became a Ramona.

December 14, 2011

Its happened guys.

I once fancied the thought I was Bethanny, but after last nights festivities I regrettably realized I am indeed a Ramona. Forehead Slap.

I don’t drink much at all, and if I do I don’t get hog wild anymore. In the last few years this whiskey guzzling, drink you under the table bad ass became a loser whose body gave the big Fuck You to most alcohol. Sometimes instant headache, others instant night in a bathroom. Drinking to find out what would cause my body to become footage of post Katrina wasn’t worth it. Goodbye state of ooey-gooey-I could make out with you forever-wait what did i say-pssshhhh-face plant. Until….

WHITE WINE! Oh glorious wine of the lighter persuasion! You heavenly Pinot, you gorgeous Grigio (whatever THAT means) I can’t even think straight I LOVE YOU!

I rarely go out on weekdays, but not only did I get crazy last night- I drank half a bottle of white wine and felt AMAZING! I can’t remember when I was that happily drunk. Oh wait, yes I can and it was a terrible tequila recovery the next 24 hours. Cough.

That was a year ago.

I will now go to events (i’ve never even been to an ‘event’) sporting crazy eyes while hunting for my famed Pinot Grigio. I will immediately grab a wine list at restaurants and ask in a slightly British accent, “Your best Pinot G. please.” You will never have to ask, White or Red. I will be that person. AND YOU WILL ACCEPT IT.

Side note: Reading Harry Potter drunk is one of the best activities I’ve ever participated in. Bleeps of Bleep, though seemingly impossible in my world, was like sex in my ear last night that I actually giggled on the train listening. How in 8 years I hadn’t listened to my boys drunk, I’ll never know.

I’m banking on that my readers are Housewives voyeur crazies like myself, but if not Bethanny and Ramona are from Bravos “Real Housewives of New York”

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. December 14, 2011 2:13 pm

    Don’t we all wish we could be a Bethanny, I too would probably fall into the Ramona category – Turtle Time anyone? Yes please!

    And what a coincidence that I drank last night, which I rarely do. First, I went to El Torito with some old co-workers and had one margarita. But than I left and still wanted more so I went to Albertson’s and picked up some Skinny Girl Margarita! Me and my husband finished that quickly. Now, I’m having one of those days where you tell yourself “I’m never drinking again!” =/

    • December 14, 2011 2:15 pm

      This is what we call Alcoholic Kismet. I raise a glass to you! TURTLE TIME!

  2. December 14, 2011 10:20 pm

    Reading HP drunk? I wonder how vivid the world becomes!

    • December 15, 2011 9:21 am

      It was intense. Had I been attacked I miiiight have thought I was wizard for the first few seconds. Wonder if that would work against or for me, hmmm.

  3. December 15, 2011 12:49 am

    Cheers!

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