I Can Has Style- The Golden Globes 2013!!!
Alright! Another year of people passing around gilded globes that show they’re even more special than the normal special of being a rich ass celebrity.
And I still love them, why? THE DRESSES!
So let’s undress ourselves and snuggle into the beaded, flowy, funky fun of wardrobe award season!
Are You RED-y For This:
The ladies stepped out in red tonight and you know what I always say? With all that red carpet, surely we could use some more red? Luckily for these Crimson Cuties their shades complimented instead of clashing. Bravah for blood color!
Where Did Your Globes Go:
Thanks to Frankie for giving me this idea…because only a dude would realize who didn’t bring their tits with them to the show. Meh, he has to watch something and he sure as shit won’t watch the actual Globes. But alas, none of his kind of globes were present. Olivia, Meagan Fox, Anne Hathaway…they all normally have some stuffing in those skin sacks but not last night, last night it was all about how flat you could get your bazoongas….so yeah. Essentially last night’s Golden Globes were a chance to undo those middle school mornings with tissue in your training bras.
The Death Of Metal Didn’t Reach The Globes:
Metallics came out like shanks at Rikers last night and I gotta say…. I kinda liked it. Some of them I have to wrap my head around, I’m never one to dive into shiny things and enjoy it…unless those shiny things are indestructible rocks called diamonds. That said, this metallic malay was actually kind of pleasing on the eye…and if not pleasing, definitely interesting.
A Heaping Pile of Worst:
It broke my acting heart to put Chastain up here, but I had no choice…Look at that thing (the dress, not her). I can’t decide if it’s a sheet gone Golden Globes toga or if she was given the dress of someone two times her weight….This thing should have a group of SEAL’s on it, stat. (Bad pun? I’ve worked 18 hours this weekend, assholes.)
Keeping up with Sherlock on her new show, Elementary, might be way Lucy hadn’t realized she dressed in her duvet cover.
Milano in Mustard. Nuff Said.
AND NOW! FOR THE BEST! OF THE BEST!
I had to go for a tie this year, YMWIK HISTORY IN THE MAKING! Seriously, look at these chicks. Couldn’t be any more different and yet, Lowdy Lowdy Lowdy, those ladies look amazing. *Fans self all southern like*
I was working all weekend thanks to a pitch so I couldn’t actually watch the awards…but I should have kept all the typos in this blog so that you could truly see how fucking tired I am. But I did it! I gave you the STYLE and you gave me the TIME! Team work.