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I Can Has Style.

April 30, 2012

Imma gonna switch this here up. Instead of focusing on a style trend or item in the material sense, we’re gonna regard lifestyle trends.

Two in particular. One horribly annoying one that transcends a bigger umbrella of lifestyles. And one…positive? interesting? I don’t know what it is but we’ll discuss.

Let’s get the horrible one over with so I can lower my blog pressure.

New Money. That’s the umbrella, so more specifically Black Card Members. (No. This is not another entry on racism, it’s worse and all encompassing no matter your background.)

Black Card Members. The elusive group that Amex has deemed rich enough to own a metal card that is so pretentious they made it black and clinky. Why not have a card that sounds like my jewelry drawer? I actually don’t have a jewelry drawer but I have a tin of batteries that might sound similar.

I get the “rich enough to be so awesome you get a special card”…I really do. What I don’t get is Mr. Sir standing in front of me in a coffee shop this morning ordering a latte, casually turning his waist to face the rest of the line and equally as casually slips his Black Card out before turning around.

Mr. Sir: You had no reason to turn around. You are just so New Money that you felt compelled to turn around to a bunch of publishing/advertising hipster girls and show off a bling bling most of us didn’t see because WE NEED COFFEE SO TURN AROUND AND PAY WITH GREEN MONEY LIKE THE REST OF US.

Nothing says Black Card like Bud Light.

The Black Card is only the tip, and who likes just the tip of something? Let’s proceed.

This is everywhere. Thanks to reality TV focusing on “normal families” like the Kardashians or “normal housewives” like those in Beverly Hills, Atlanta and Jersey our “actually normal” lives are skewed in our minds to make us believe we’re as rich. We take our thousands and pretend it’s millions. And then when these people actually do make some dough they flaunt it like it won’t last and it won’t because your flaunting it with buying high end sport cars and “Chateau Sheree’s” for the normal folk.

Old money people were business men, socialite wives with a political bite and an eye for investment. It was family money, highly regarded money that should sustain the lineage in which it was created. Old money is proud when appropriate and fierce when need be but polite enough not to brag.

New Money is weak, burnt through, tarnished and pitiful- if you use it like New Money. If you act like New Money.

At the end of the day money is just that, money. No prefix needed. It’s in the personality of the beholder that decides the fate. So put your Black Card away, because Mr. Sir, if you have that card you must have at least a $20 in your wallet to pay for your $4 purchase.

Now onto something a little more….I’m not sure. I’m just fascinated.

I’ve noticed lately that boys (high school or  younger) do this greeting where they don’t speak, don’t really even make eye contact yet a hand is extended. A silent greeting has been made. They walk on, not together, but solo in the same space.  I’m pretty sure I’ve only seen it here, though it might be so new boys my age in school didn’t do it?

Have you seen this? I see it on the bus, trains, just saw it on the street this morning. It’s so weird to me! When I witness it bubbles of excitement and curiousity pop up in my mind. I wasn’t sure why at first but today I realized: Girls don’t have an equivalent.

1. Girl’s that know each other, on any level of personal, can’t pass each other without issuing at least some words. Period. End of story.

2. We don’t shake. Hugs are weird depending on the two in greeting. Kisses are all high society, New Yorker things so that might fly depending on the age and relation.

3. I’m just not sure girls can be that cool. It’s so cool to watch these guys do this!

The whitest handshake I know.

I feel ridiculous saying it, but to me it seems so civilized. They aren’t tweeting each other, “Hey I’m behind you.” like some girls would do. They aren’t whistling like their friends are herding dogs. It’s personal, direct, but casual. Sure… these boys are probably the same ones that key cars, trash stoops and spray paint the Uhaul we rented to move. But at least for two seconds on any given day they are respecting their fellow trouble makers and showing a personal contact in forms of greeting- an unfortunately dying art in the age of texting and Facebook. I wish tagging things were a dying art as well, but we can’t have everything.

If teeny boys can have polite gesture style, I can has style. And if I make mucho mulah? I can also has style.

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